misslenn

"it matters to me"

Fri, 27 Mar 2009 17:19:06 GMT

does it matter to you? Crap!.....you've always been a crap!

counting...

Sat, 07 Mar 2009 16:35:00 GMT

I have 4 more days to go and I will be back in Singapore..a part of me is excited, I'll be back in my own life there where I call every shots in this so called life. Maybe I have "recharged" in a way. I don't worry that much anymore unlike when I was about to go home. Tried and tested that at the end of the day, you;ll go back to your family and again they will give you the determination to stand up again. During this 1 month of stay, I just went out a couple of times. I spent the day around the house. Going to the mall with my ever supportive parents..hehehe we even had a family thing when Dad suddenly decided to go to Baguio. Ginnie enjoyed it since it's her first time to really go out of time. And mostly, I spent time with goofing around with Ginnie, fecthing her to school and meeting her friends. Masaya...at alam ko maho homesick ako..hay!

During this one month, I've been having ups and downs with Sherwin. Maybe because we so used in being together kaya nahihirapan kame mag adjust but we manage to get through those times. We are silently fighthing today..the only I didn't answer his messages, I just wanted to clear my mind. I should focus on my priorities.

And after almost 5 months, I was able to see Duckie. Ay naku, ang tagal na. at ang taba nya, I was surprised when I saw him. Nakakatawa lang coz our conversation so nakakatawa and light compared before. Time heals though there may be bitterness, it will not be helpful during these tough times. He doesn't look happy. I don't know...He calls the shots too. But I know that I could depend on him, and tis the only time I have finally found my space in his so called life. Pare, it started from this word, and it will always be..

Sana maayos na lahat..at sana matupad ang aking iniisip gawin sa mga panahong ito...the magic word is "pmp"..Ayiooooo!

tonight

Sun, 08 Feb 2009 14:55:53 GMT

I'll be off tomorrow...it's my first time to take a morning flight. it's 10:30, need to get up ealy and I still have some packings to do. sabi nga nila, be careful of what you wish for...and now here it is. This was suppose to be a three weeks vacation..I went through one of the hardest 3 weeks..ang daming excess baggage sa buhay ko. Have I really moved on? eto ba talaga gusto ko?! eh bakit andito ako sa veranda, with some ear plugs on and listening to: "it matters to me"....nag break down na ako early this morning, haven't slept for almost 3 nights now. Restless talaga ako...

anf the hard truth, yes! it still matters to me. That's all there is to it...I love him in a special way, I know he does too. okay na ako dun, I just hope the next time we talk, I've finally picked up the pieces. I have always been proud, but he'sthe person that I turn to whenever things are falling into pieces. I'm contented to know that my family is there, and despite of the escapades....I know that he'll just be around. Thank you and I love you.

say it...

Thu, 22 Jan 2009 10:19:35 GMT

Miss na kita...

Bahala na Bukas....

Pagod na ako....

Mommy! anu na gagawin ko?!...

Baby hug mo si Mama... :-(

BAKIT?!...

Subconjuctival hemmorage

Wed, 21 Jan 2009 04:46:17 GMT

Subconjunctival Hemmorage - is a bleeding underneath the conjunctiva. The conjunctiva has many small blood vessels that are easily raptured or broken. When this happens, blood leaks into the conjunctiva and sclera of the eyes.This may be associated with high blood pressure , or trauma to the eyes.

Bingo! I am suffering from this subconjunctival hemmorage since yesterday. In this critical period of my life, an eye trauma comes in..what the... they say that a tensed mind could produced trauma. Interesting isn't it?! Just have to wait and see after 3 and see if there will be any difference, if not...kelangan ko na talaga pumunta sa hospital to have my eyes checked. Bakit ngayon pa? hay!

Time is running out on me...something good should happen before the 28th, if it is God's will, then be it, if not then accept it. Maybe I have already gone through so many things here. Basically, ACCEPTANCE is the word for everything. Hmm...may naiisip ako, wala lang to ha: I just wanna ask it out loud, who would you choose - a) a person who is physically present to love you, who gives his every bit of time for you, who is currently sacrificing a lot just to stay with you BUT deep inside you can't hold on forever. OR b) a person that you have been with, who has hurt you for several times and didn't do anything about it But you can depend on him in times of trouble because you know that he could understand you and brings out the best and beast in you, this person motivates me a lot!..hahaha :-)

Hope things will go well on Friday! :-)

Uh-Oh..sensitive?

Tue, 06 Jan 2009 04:11:50 GMT

Slept at 2am last night, had a good chat with Daddy. Might have this interview with Halliburton this week. I think he finally decided that we should stay in one place together..atleast before he retires that's why he wants me to be at Halliburton. But where..In Oman? or China? or Singapore...Definitely not in Oman, Please! this is just a wishful thinking because wherever it might be, It's work....and it's the essence of adulthood and synonymously for the word..responsibility..hay, I don't know what will happen, and I'm getting depressed again.

Had a dialogue with him early this morning. a mere joke turned out to be a heated discussion...after putting down the phone, umiyak ako! yep, you heard me right..umiyak ako. I feel that I'm getting sensitive nowadays, I absolutely know what's wrong: it's because of Work! but it isn't everything, the bad thing is that I've focused everything on it..everything and now here I am struggling with my shopping sickness! being depressed and all and "pinag ti tripan" daw sya, that's what he said. What am I to do?..

ended up cooking....Pininyahang Manok, got the recipe from him. hehehe :-) he's checking what happened to my cooking, I bet he is. I'm sure he just wanted to check if I'm still sane here at home. hay...might do some ironing later, and after, I'm thinking of going to Jurong point, I've only been there once and I might as well check it out.

test of times...

Mon, 29 Dec 2008 13:36:16 GMT

one of the toughest times...I just hope and pray that everything will work out fine. Again during these times, you'll see who are the people who'll stick with you, ang not leave you in dead air. Before it was different, I am at home with my Mom who's always been supportive, Dad who's extra supportive.. and Ginnie who makes me smile. Now it's different...I'm far away from them...and I'm not a hypocrite to deny that I am worried...

Just got a call from from sherwin and I am just thankful that he's is here, always checking on me comforting me once in a while...he's one person that I could hold onto, we are together in praying that things will work out just fine :-)

thank you...

si duckie!

Fri, 19 Dec 2008 03:49:11 GMT

Guess who called, si Duckie...yep! you heard me right --- si duckie. Actually he slipped off my mind last night while I was on my way home. I remembered that He'll be flying home today. I didn't bother to text him and ask if he got my message a few days back. Even after Jamela viewed my profile and openly have the intentions of letting me see their pix together...well, i looked at it but I didn't do anything either. We have all moved on except for her -- I just did laugh at her pix with duckie ( ang panget kasi talaga nya, i'm trying to stop myself from being mean..pero, baduy talaga, the iphone looked as if it was afake one when she's the one who's holding it ...shhhh stop, ayaw ko na maging bad! ). We are beyond that. and after his call, I have again proved that we have beyond all the things that has happened. We may not fully forgive each other for what happenedm but we also do know that we can depend on each other if something urgent comes up.....duckie is still there whenever I'm in mess, even if I have reach to the point of cursing him that much, he's the one person I could run to aside from my parents. He may not be my destiny, but he's definitely my soulmate...hehehehe....is this another realization, oh common!

yep, i do miss him...and I know he meant it when he said.."i love you"...and I know I could get through the problem that I'm having right now. Btw, why is it that whenever I talk to this guy, my "happy bubble" suddenly burst...In this case, it shouldn't simply because it's Sherwin's birthday on the 21st and I can't give him anything at this point due to my career crisis...Yay! hay naku --- si duckie talaga! I make myslef sane and he makes me insane, but it's okay to that for my very best pare.

at bigla ko na miss si ginnie at si mommy......

I'm counting...

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 08:28:09 GMT

how many more days before christmas not being at home...one....

how many more days to go.....two....

how long will it take......three....

In the right place and in the right time, you're here with me and that's all that matters.

Thank you to my favorite simei guy! mwah :-)

flash back

Sat, 22 Nov 2008 00:19:58 GMT

Getting reunited here at SG? hahaha..after 10 long years...finally went out with Roselle and Bianca. It was like...doing some back track, catching up and all for those years. Maraming kwento na nakakaloka! and expected...we have the same outloook towards things. Biancs is now an FA of Ethiad Airways, happily married? not so... :-) and Roselle, also working here at Sg as an interior design. It was really nice to see people who really knows you...because one way or another, your way of thinking similar..nagji jive ba! we have our own troubles, and we definitely know how to get through it in a classy way..hahaha :-) sabi nga ni Roselle..."oo, maarte tayo..pero hinde tayo bastos"..that speaks for it.

Well, we ate at Jumbo as per Biancs request. Man, the bill almost reached $200...we can afford this at SG but we can't in Manila..:-) i'll see the girls again sometime next week after Biancs flew back here in SG from Dublin. next agenda: Shopping! woohooo...

pix was taken at Biancs hotel room......even though the job of an FA is called a domesticated maid by some, why bother when you have your own hotelroom whenever you flew in from a flight, a jetsetter in your own right, get to go shopping in paris 3x a month, what is there to ask???..nde lang abot ng height namin ni roselle and FA..too bad!

next pix...you'll never guess..I myself was shocked to find this guy...

If it isn't the MIKE MESINA..potek! it was like...si Mike ba to..teka! si Mike nga..the real best friend I've ever had. I remembered our record, 9 hours on the phone and we still schooling the next day, that was highschool days again. This guy was also the first guy who helped me when my car broke down in mandaluyong at Marie;s place. He convoyed us unitl shaw...then comes college..dang! don't know what happened. Facebook has it;s reason you know...tis one of those things. Recently, he was in the paper for being the fastest Fipilino in NYC matahon, nice and now, working at United Nations. I refuse to believe this! hahaha :-)

Then last night while I was walking at Vivo, I get to see Lornalyn, one of my highschool classmate also...funny talaga! I get to see people who I've known..ano ibig sabihin neto, bumabalik na ako sa dati kong buhay. Geeting acquainted again with my "old" friends is good..it's like a reality check...na ganun ako, at nde ganto. and indeed it's nice to see that all of us made our marks.

Nice! :-)